A friend and I had an hour to kill late last Saturday afternoon before watching Saw III, so we stopped by Fuzion Smoothies Cafe. I was ready to order one of their safe and healthy fruit smoothies when I saw "liquid cheesecake" on the menu. Liquid what? Hmm!

Of course, liquid cheesecake sounded like a horribly stupid idea. But I couldn't help myself. You see, I'm afflicted with a neurological disorder that often compels me to order the weirdest item on a menu. In the past, my condition has led me to unfortunate food choices like curry noodles, deer tapa, and pasta with wasabi sauce. And now... this?

Hell In a Cup^TM

OK, it really didn't taste bad. It tasted exactly like blueberry cheesecake, which is something I usually enjoy. But, for some reason, my stomach didn't like it as much as my tongue did. Nausea was setting in even before I finished the drink.

As I downed the last few chunks of cheesy goo, I got a text message from my buddy Philos inviting me to some kind of Christian fellowship thing. My normal response to such invitations is "hell no." But, thanks to cheesecake-induced confusion, I wasn't thinking straight. My friend, who is a devout Christian, wanted to go. I figured that we would still have enough time to come back later and catch the next screening of Saw III anyway, so I went along. Besides, Philos assured me that there would be food. Mmm, food... I like food.

I forgot that I don't like Evangelical Christian fellowships. Oops, too late. Fortunately, the fellowship's forced random seating put me beside someone who also didn't want to be there. We chatted and later sneaked out for some fruit frappes (thank god the place we went to didn't have liquid hamburgers on the menu). This made the time fly by a lot more quickly. Not quickly enough though... the fellowship went almost an hour overtime, which left no time for me to catch the movie. Apparently, good time management isn't one of the gifts of the Holy Spirit.

When I finally got to see Saw III a night later, I realized that not watching it the evening before was probably the right thing to do. Why? The movie turned out to be even more of gorefest than the first two Saw movies were. If I had watched it right after I downed the liquid cheesecake, I could have puked all over the place. Not fun.

Then again, the smell of regurgitated cheesecake would have added to the gory atmosphere of the movie... not to mention that it would have given fresh new meaning to the term "cheesy special effects," heh.