Oh look, food for the gods... for sale! And there's even a monotheistic version for those of you who believe in the GOD! The polytheistic pagan version would probably be yummier though... several different flavors are available, so your taste buds won't get bored quickly.

Now, I'm not sure what God's food is made of or what it tastes like (or why they're selling it in a bakery catering to non-gods). My guess is that it contain some sort of burnt cattle and sheep, because that's what God likes to eat. That's right, PETA. As infinitely merciful as he is, God ain't a vegetarian. Sorry. Now go stage a naked protest.

The Holy Bible, which is the unerring magical Word of God, tells us that the Lord doth liketh meat, and that he liketh his meat well done. I mean like really really well done. I mean like burned to ashes well done. It's true. He snorts the ashes like a junkie snorts crack cocaine--and that makes him very happy.

Personally, I like my steaks medium rare, and I don't think that eating through your nose is the most pleasant way to enjoy a meal. But hey, who am I to argue with God? He created all the cattle and the sheep, and he has the right to eat them in whatever way he wants. Hell, if he wants to, he can just toss whole cows into a giant meat grinder, turn them into a bloody pulp, and flip chunks of them over hot coals. Wait, isn't that how Ronald McDonald does it? Mmm, hamburgers.

Oh, great... all this talk about God's food is making me quite hungry... and a bit religious too. Time to go pray for a snack.