Last month, when I first heard about Fully Booked's writing contest in the genres of science fiction, fantasy, and horror, I was determined to come up with something good, mainly because there would be a grand prize of P100,000 (around $2000) involved.

At the time, I thought that the contest guidelines are somewhat silly... possibly written by monkeys. For example, there's this clause:

Submissions must include four (4) hard copies, typewritten or computerized (preferably computerized).

Typewritten or computerized? Hmm, OK. But, later in the same paragraph, we get this:

The submission must include one (1) soft copy on a CD-ROM (files should be in .rtf [Rich Text Format]).

Hey genius, if I typed out my story on an antique typewriter, how am I supposed to put a soft copy on a freaking CD-ROM? Last time I checked, typewriters don't have CD burners. Sheesh.

But that's not important. The contest was a good thing for. For the first time in a very long time, I was motivated to write something more thoughtful and less retarded than my blog entries. That's a good thing, right?

Well, that was more than a month ago. Today is the deadline of the contest, and I've got nothing. Procrastination and laziness of course take part of the blame, but there's also something else. As I tried to squeeze words out of my dried-up brain last night, I came to the sad realization that I know squat about sci-fi, fantasy, or horror. I was the guy who fell asleep halfway through The Lord of the Rings. Hell, I haven't even "found the time" to check out the Dune boxset that my friends gave me on my birthday three years ago.

Writing gurus like to say that you can only write about what you know. Maybe they're right. Writers have to understand their subject matter thoroughly to come up with a coherent and believable story. Maybe I should learn from Mexican writer Jose Luis Calva who, as part of his research for a novel called "Cannibalistic Instincts," killed and cooked his girlfriend.

Heh. Isn't that such a lovely Halloween horror story?

Last week, Tribe John Woo threw an immunity challenge as part of their strategy. Will they throw another one to eliminate James like they planned to? We'll see.

Tribe Bruce Lee won the reward challenge, kidnapped their old pal James, and headed to a teahouse. Hmm, why does this teahouse have bathtubs? Weird.

WARNING: spoilers ahead.  read more »

"You've got to read this book"? Oh yeah? Says who? I don't have to read no book, jerk!

You're probably guessing that I'm going on a pointless rant about the obnoxious title, and yeah, that was my intention when I took the picture a few weeks ago. But something else on the book cover caught my eye when I edited the picture earlier tonight.

The book was written by Jack Canfield (the famous Chicken Soup for the Soul asshole) and some random guy named Gay Hendricks. Gay Hendricks? What kind of parents name their kid "Gay"? It's one thing if you're stuck with "Gay" as a surname like NBA player Rudy Gay is. But to intentionally give a boy "Gay" as a first name? That's child abuse, man. Little Gay must have been beaten up a lot in school.

I wonder how he introduces himself at parties. Does he say, "Hi everyone, I'm Gay"? It must also suck to be invited to speak at a seminar, only to have the whole room start snickering when the host says, "Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Mr. Gay Hendricks!" Well, at least his name isn't Gaylord Focker.

Hey, this is our second straight gay-themed blog entry. I bet Google will now bombard us with gay ads for the next three weeks. Yay.

Stupid Google.

Have you heard? Hogwarts Headmaster Albus Dumbledore is gay! Conservative Christians who were already uncomfortable with Harry Potter's glorification of witchcraft must be foaming at the mouth now. J.K. Rowling is trying to turn our innocent children gay! Harry Potter is the work of the devil! Grrr!

Mainstream Christians, both Catholics and Protestants, consider homosexuality as sinful, which is somewhat funny because they can't stop talking about how much they love this guy named Jesus. I have a couple of stories about Christians and gayness, but before we go on, let's take a break to see how many double entendre Dumbledore jokes we can come up with on short notice....

Did he become a wizard because he wanted to ride on a big broom? Hahaha!

Hey, I bet he likes to play with other people's wands. Hahaha!

So that's why they call him the "head" master. Hahaha!

What? Not funny? Come on! Fine, I'll stop now. Let's continue with the gay Christian stuff....

Some time ago, a Vatican official was suspended by the Church after being caught on hidden camera trying to seduce a young man. Heh. But wait, that's not even the funny part. Here's the funny part: the monsignor insisted that he was only pretending to be gay in order to infiltrate and fight the evil world of gayness.

Ahahahaha! So you're saying that you're like one of those undercover cops who pretend to be drug dealers in order to bust drug rings? Hmm... undercover gay... that's fresh. Don't worry, we believe you. Not.

The gay-hating fundies at the Protestant church that I used to attend like to sing this song sometimes during Sunday worship services:

I will sing
I will worship you
I will bow myself down humbly at your throne
I will give anything
I will give everything to you alone

Yawn. Sounds like your average safe and boring contemporary Christian song, right? But keep listening. The lyrics get real weird real quick....

I long to be the bride that you're returning for
Dressed in garment white and wrinkle free
I have no earthly love that I am holding to
For you're the one who means everything to me

Yikes. I don't want to sound homophobic, but a bunch of grown men singing about longing to be a bride in a wrinkle-free white dress... Jesus, how gay is that?

And yet these people don't think twice about condemning homosexuality. A few months ago, they even had some kind of gay rehab camp for "confused" teenagers. Gee, I wonder how many kids they successfully cured of the dreadful disease of gayitis. I guess we'll never find out. All I know is that if they don't stop singing those ambiguously gay songs, they would need more gay rehab camps soon.

Well, at least they didn't have Dumbledore as the camp's headmaster.

It's time for a little awkward Survivor romance. Yay!

Over at the other camp, big man James and big lunch lady Denise seemed to have a thing for each other, but alas! It wasn't meant to be, because....

WARNING: spoilers ahead.  read more »

Hey kids, it's Slapstick Sunday. Yay!

Here's an even funnier one.

Hahaha! QVC really shouldn't do these home shopping infomercials live. Can't they at least put in a 7-second delay or something?

Just before I went to sleep at 8 AM today, I sneaked one last peek at CNN.com's RSS feed. And I'm so glad that I did. One of their articles had a glaring typo right in the headline! Ha! The spelling Nazi in me was absolutely giddy with joy.

CNN has since corrected their little mistake, but not before I grabbed a screenshot. Look look look!

Hey CNN, how does "depoting" illegal immigrants work? Do you force all of them to work at Home Depot? That's nice, but who's gonna work at Wal-Mart now? Ahahahaha!

What's wrong with CNN today anyway? Why the sloppy repoting? Hmm, maybe they hire Mexican immigrants to do their proofreading. Ahahahaha!

Oh no, was that a racial slur? Am I gonna get sued? Oh wait, they can't take legal action against me... they're illegals! Ahahahaha!

No, I'm not drunk, I swear.

It's Blog Action Day today! Yay! OK, it's not. That was two days ago. What can I say? I'm a procrastinator. But better late than never, right? Right.

This year's Blog Action Day topic is the environment. And since Al Gore's An Inconvenient Truth came out last year, global warming has become the single hottest issue for young wannabe environmentalists everywhere. The planet has a fever! We're all gonna die!

Al Gore has since been hailed as a visionary and a hero. I'm sure you've all heard about him winning the Nobel Peace Prize last week. But have you heard about this less reported story? At around the same time, a British court ruled that Al Gore's movie contains various inaccuracies and exaggerations. In particular, the apocalyptic vision of a sudden 23-foot rise in sea level was characterized by the judge as "distinctly alarmist."

I'm not really surprised. When I saw the movie, I did suspect that Al Gore overstated the doomsday scenario for maximum shock value. But the fundamentals of the film are still sound, right? The British judge thought so. I thought so too... until I saw this clip.

Now I'm not so sure anymore.

To be clear, I wasn't impressed by all the name-dropping at the start of the clip--hell, I've seen enough "doctors" endorsing all kinds of crap on TV to know better. But the part about the 800-year gap between the rise in temperature and the increase in carbon dioxide concentration... that's a big deal. Al Gore says that CO2 causes global warming. But if CO2 spikes come centuries after temperature increases, it sure would seem like Al Gore had the cause and effect all backwards. Hmm... chicken or egg? A quick trip to Google got me an explanation and a rebuttal of the explanation, neither of them overwhelmingly convincing.

The question of CO2's role in global warming is highly significant because much of the current effort to address climate change is focused on the reduction of carbon emissions (*cough* Kyoto Protocol *cough*). Global warming is clearly a problem, but if carbon dioxide isn't the primary cause, then we're just wasting our resources. Not smart. If we're going to solve this problem, we'll have to be smart.

Unfortunately, a big chunk of the "green" advocacy is becoming more and more like a religion, where Al Gore is God, his movie is the gospel truth, and everyone who disagrees needs to be browbeaten into repentance. Hey, it's good to be passionate for a cause you believe in, but a little scientific attitude is nice too. If the evidence doesn't support the hypothesis, it's reasonable to be skeptical. More research, less propaganda.

I don't think that PR gimmicks like the Blog Action Day thing really help much. The simultaneous rants of a few thousands bloggers, many of whom got everything they know about global warming from one movie, probably muddle up the issue rather than clarify it.

Sorry for raining on the Blog Action Day parade. Me goes hide from torch-wielding environfascists now. Hey, come on guys, put those torches down. Torches cause global warming!

It pains me to say this, but this past episode of Survivor: China kinda sucked.

So what happened? Not much. Dave and Sherea got into what could possibly be the most childish fight in TV history....

WARNING: spoilers ahead.  read more »

This door is closed. That's what the sign says.

The other side of the sign should say "open," right? Let's flip it over and have a look....

Hmm, weird. So this door is either "closed" or "out of order"? That doesn't sound very useful. Personally, I prefer doors that can be opened from time to time. But maybe that's just me.