On Christmas Day, a tiger escaped from the San Francisco Zoo and killed a teenager before being shot dead by cops. Now, investigators are saying that the victim might have taunted the tiger by dangling a leg over the moat. If that's true, the kid deserved to die deserves a Darwin Awards nomination. Messing with one of the most powerful beasts in the world probably isn't a smart thing to do.

I saw the story on CNN while channel surfing this morning. True to its love for hysterical sensationalism, CNN alternately flashed the phrases "TIGER ATTACK" and "PREYING ON PEOPLE" on the lower-right corner of the screen. Oh no! Scary! Run for your lives, people! Run!

I didn't have to run for my life during my own close encounter with a tiger a few weeks ago at Zoobic, supposedly the only tiger safari in the Philippines. Before we boarded the jeep that would take us to the tigers, our tour guide kept trying to sell us a chicken. She said that we would get the tigers to jump on the roof of the jeep if we have a yummy dead chicken as bait, and that the whole experience would totally suck without it. At the last second, Philos decided to pay up, and a guy got in the jeep with a dead chicken in a bucket. No, he's not Colonel Sanders... just a nameless chicken guy.

We quickly came across some tigers resting under a tree. Unfortunately, they didn't seem to be in the mood for food. How can I describe the demeanor of those lazy jungle cats? Oh, I know. Have you ever ordered too much food when you eat out with your friends? The meal is almost over, and you're all leaning back with your bellies bulging. There's still one last piece of chicken left, so you pass the plate around, but no one wants to touch it.

Our tigers were pretty much like that. They probably already had enough to eat for the day, and when our chicken guy waved a piece of raw meat out the window, they just looked at each other and went, "You want that last piece of chicken?" "Nah, thanks, I'm full." "Come on, take it." "I said I'm full. Why don't you take it?" "No, you take it."

Finally, one tiger came over and gently licked and chewed at the chicken the way a domesticated kitten eats out of your hand. What the hell? I was hoping to see something fierce--the chicken guy getting his hand bitten off would have been awesome. Maybe I should have followed my instincts and punched the tiger's nose to make it angry. Tigers are so boring when they aren't angry.

The chicken guy extended his arm out the window and tossed a piece of leftover chicken upwards. I heard it land smack in the middle of the roof, and I got a bit excited. This is the part where the tiger jumps on the top of the jeep, right? Well, not quite. The big cat took a long look and wisely decided that the tiny chunk of land tuna wasn't worth jumping for. Or maybe it just couldn't find the chicken. Stupid tiger.

Shou had the presence of mind to take a video of the whole thing. And I stole it. Here, take a look.

Here kitty kitty....

Yes, it was all over in a minute... 400 pesos well spent.