Yeah, I know it's still Thurday, and, according to Christian tradition, Jesus died at 3 PM on Good Friday.

But in Matthew 12:40, Jesus said, "For as Jonah was three days and three nights in the belly of a huge fish, so the Son of Man will be three days and three nights in the heart of the earth."

Jesus supposedly resurrected on Sunday morning, right? Hmm... Friday afternoon to Sunday morning... wait, that's just two nights! And 3 PM Friday to 7 AM Sunday is just 40 hours. That's not even two full days. Hmm!

So Jesus spent three days and three nights one and a half day in the heart of the earth, a.k.a. hades, the domain of the dead. Or did he?

Remember what Jesus said to the repentant thief on the cross? Luke 23:43: "Jesus answered him, 'I tell you the truth, today you will be with me in paradise.'"

Whoa! Stop right there! Paradise? What the hell happened to hades? The Bible sure is confusing, isn't it? Isn't it?

Not if you're a hardcore Christian. Have faith in the Word of God! The Bible is perfect, and if parts of it sound stupid to you, it's because you're stupid!

If you Google around, you'll easily find lots of articles explaining why the seeming contradictions that I pointed out are not really contradictions at all. So go read them, then come back and call me an ignorant fool. I don't mind.

Still, isn't it funny how short verses from a perfect book divinely inspired by God can be so confusing that they need to be clarified through long articles by mere mortals? Hmm.