I've always said that Hello Kitty is evil, but does anyone ever listen? Finally, I've been proven right. Last week, Tiffy blogged about a new product line from Sanrio that features a devil version of Hello Kitty. Aha!

Now that Hello Kitty has shown her true colors, we can expect fundie Christian groups to go up in arms and try to have the cat banned. Hello Kitty is as evil as Harry Potter and The Da Vinci Code! Ban ban hallelujah!

Well, I was one step ahead of them. I immediately declared Hello Kitty as the Antichrist and set out to find proof. After a quick Google search, I found this nifty little Antichrist Detector. Score! So I typed in "Hello Kitty" and clicked the "Submit" button, but instead of getting the 666 that I expected, I was told that Hello Kitty has the sacred number of Christ, 777.

What the hell? That can't be right! So Hello Kitty is both the Antichrist and the Christ? I'm so confused. And with this evil new device, Hello Kitty is apparently trying to take over the role of the Virgin Mary too. Jesus!

We're doomed.

If you watch late night talk shows regularly, you've probably heard about alliâ„¢ by now.

It's a newly approved diet drug that works by blocking fat absorption. If that sounds familiar, it's because the drug is only new in the US. It has been available around here as Xenical® for quite a while now. And, like Xenical and Philos' favorite fish, alli may have certain hilarious unpleasant side effects like gas and oily diarrhea.

That's not news. But what made the late night comics so happy is this little paragraph from alli's website.

You may feel an urgent need to go to the bathroom. Until you have a sense of any treatment effects, it's probably a smart idea to wear dark pants, and bring a change of clothes with you to work

Ahahahaha! That doesn't even need a punchline. They've made a joke out of their own product. And yes, that's really from the official alli website. You can check.

The makers of the herbal diet pill Leptoprin decided to take advantage of the situation by coming up with a nasty attack ad. Enjoy.

Ahahahaha! Poop is funny.

I woke up today a little past noon after about five hours of sleep. On most days, the first thing I do when I wake up is walk over to my PC and switch it on. And that was what I did.

But this time, pushing the power button didn't have the expected effect. No blinking lights. No familiar humming sounds of spinning fans. Nothing.

What the hell? Is it a power outage? Nope, that can't be. My monitor is on. Are the power cables loose? I unplugged and replugged everything then tried again. Nothing happened. I began to panic. Is the power supply dead? Nooooooooo!

When a computer's power supply dies, there's a good chance that it would take something else to hell with it. I know because I've seen one explode before--it totally fried the hard drive. I didn't see or hear any explosions this time, but maybe I missed it because I was sleepy.

I started to felt sick. My hard drives! I'd be in deep trouble if either of them died, because I've always been too lazy to back up my data. I thought about the amount of work I'd have to redo, and I almost threw up on the spot.

What now? Well, how about avoiding the problem? Sounds like a good plan. So I went for lunch. After stuffing myself with comfort food, I came back to find my PC still dead. I took a long nap, irrationally hoping that it was all just a bad dream.

After waking up into the same nightmare, I knew that I had no choice but to face reality. I hauled my machine to the nearest PC Express. A technician there plugged it in, and... it's alive! What the hell?

So the cheap made-in-China power supply is innocent after all. Who's the real culprit then? Maybe it's the AVR (automatic voltage regulator). Or maybe it's the power cord that connects the power supply to the AVR. So which one is it? Unfortunately, I left both of those at home--I only brought the case.

I thought about it and decided to buy a new power cord for 60 pesos. I could have bought both items and eliminated the possible need for a second trip to the shop, but I chose to gamble because a new AVR is much pricier.

Back at home, I was about to replace the power cord when I decided to try pushing the power button first. It worked! What... the... hell? So my PC was fine all along? Was it just bored and decided to trick me into taking it on a joyride? Bad PC!

Now, I'm sitting here with a shiny new extra power cord and still no clue as to what happened. But I really don't care anymore. I'm just relieved to have my life back to normal... and a little pissed that I wasted much of my afternoon over nothing.

Scary episodes like this remind me about how dependent I am on my PC and why backing up data regularly is a good idea. I think I'll start doing backups tomorrow next week soon.

After my caveman moment last week, I resolved to redeem myself by writing something intelligent and insightful. That never happened.

Worse, the stupid caveman returned for an encore. At 3 AM the other night, I took a break from playing Oblivion and went to the kitchen to get some water. Then I realized that I was hungry too. So, holding on to my glass pitcher with one hand, I opened the refrigerator door with the other and peeked inside. Ah, yes, leftover pizza! Score!

The logical thing to do at this point would be to put the pitcher down first. But the hungry caveman in me had no patience for logic. Me caveman me want food now!

I flipped the pizza box open with my left hand. Ha! That was easy! There were two big slices left, and I grabbed one. It was stuck tightly to the other slice. What now? The rational side of my mind told me to put the pitcher down, but the caveman side kept screaming, "Hungry!" So I tried to dislodge the slice of pizza by pulling at it and shaking it around.

I didn't notice that the pizza box was precariously balanced on top of some other random foodstuff, and each pull tipped it towards the edge a bit more. Soon, the whole box was sliding out of the fridge. Oh no! Fortunately, with my quick caveman reflexes, I managed to catch it. Yay! Unfortunately, I caught it with both hands. Oog.

The pitcher hit the floor with a loud crash, sending hundred of glass pieces in all directions and splashing my feet with cold water. Newton saw an apple fall and thought of universal gravitation. I saw a glass pitcher fall and all I could do was curse out loud. Life can be so unfair sometimes.

As I stood there dazed and confused with the pizza box in my hands, the neighbor's dogs started barking furiously. Shut up, dogs. I spent the next 20 minutes sweeping up tiny bits of glass--not exactly my idea of fun. Oog.

SBS Transit, the company that operates buses and trains here in Singapore, has this promotion where you can redeem stuff using bonus dollars (BD) earned from your trips. To earn bonus dollars, you should spend $1 more than the previous week on your fares as explained in the rules. All you need to do is register your ez-link card (similar to our prepaid MRT cards but can also be used to pay for bus fares, government transactions, and McDonald's) and you’re on your way.

I registered my card some time ago but hadn’t really planned on how to go about earning these so called BDs. Maybe I was just bored, or there were no hot chicks around, but yesterday on the train I suddenly came up with a solution on how to maximize my earnings. First of all, can anyone help me confirm that it is not written anywhere in the rules that there has to be a minimum amount to qualify? Can I spend $0.50 this week and $1.50 next week and still earn 1 BD for next week?

If so, then this is how it should be done. Assuming you spend $3 everyday on transportation ($1.50 to and $1.50 fro):

1. You need 2 ez-link cards.
2. Register Card A only.
3. Week 1 – Use Card A on Monday morning only. Use Card B on all other trips for the week.
4. Week 2 – Use Card A on Monday morning and afternoon. Use Card B on all other trips for the week.
5. Week 3 – Use Card A on Monday and Tuesday (morning only). Use Card B… you should have figured this out by now
6. Week 4 – You get the picture
7. And so on. Only go back to Week 1 after you use Card A for the entire week.

Bonus Dollars Earned:

1. Week 1 – 0
2. Week 2 – 1
3. Week 3 – 2
4. Week 4 – 3
5. Week 5 – 3
6. Week 6 – 3
7. Week 7 – 3
8. You will keep earning 3 BDs until you go back to Week 1.

Stuff you can redeem:

1. Manicure worth $25 – 5 BD
2. Pedicure worth $40 – 6 BD
3. 1 hour gaming + 1 jug of drink worth $25 – 5 BD
4. Squid Ink Risotto worth $14.80 – 4 BD
5. Potato Gnocchi worth $9.80 – 3BD
6. Mud Ooze worth $4.50 – 2 BD
7. 1N Deluxe Sea Facing Room worth $336 – 12 BD
8. Suite for 2 worth $800 – 20 BD (fully redeemed -_-)
9. Soya Milk worth $1.30 – 1 BD
10. Nestle Fitnesse Breakfast Cereal worth $4.67 – 2 BD

Now, which reward should I go for first?

I was planning to post something serious, but Neko-chan wanted to see this clip, and of course, I obliged. If you throw up all over your keyboard after watching this, blame her.

Hahaha! Funny, disgusting, or both? Discuss.

What's this? A lighted candle in a restroom?

That looks dangerous. Someone should put up a "no farting" sign, hehe.

And what's this? A water free urinal?

Well, not anymore. I just released about half a liter of "fresh water" into it, hehe.

As you can see, I'm in full juvenile retard mode today. I'll post something serious tomorrow soon, I swear. I shall now leave you with the best toilet ad ever. Enjoy.

You know those tasty little round chicken pies from Chinese bakeries? I was snacking on one as I watched TV late last night.

Each pie come with a thin piece of paper underneath, probably for preventing the pie from sticking to the box. That would have been a great idea if not for the fact that the pie now sticks to the paper. Doh.

Anyway, I have a mental disorder that makes me unable to hold a piece of paper still. Whenever I get my hands on one, I feel compelled to do something to it, like crumpling it or tearing it up. If the piece of paper is too important or just too thick for tearing, I roll it up and start hitting random objects and people with it, the way a caveman bashes stuff with his club. Oog! Me caveman me bash stuff!

This particular piece of paper that came with the chicken pie wasn't important at all, so when I finished my snack, I started to crumple it in my right hand as I continued watching the show. After a few minutes, I looked down and noticed little red specks on the paper. Hmm, that's weird. There's no red ingredient in chicken pie, is there? It took me a while to realize that those were stains from blood seeping out of a newly opened paper cut on my right middle finger.

Getting a paper cut while watching TV is pretty stupid, and I should have just tossed the bloody piece of paper away and wallowed in shame. But the ignorant caveman in me refused to believe that the seemingly harmless piece of paper could be so dangerous. So, in the interest of caveman science, I performed an impromptu experiment. I held the piece of paper in my right hand and slashed it across my left. The result? A deeper and bloodier paper cut on my left thumb. Ouch.

With that, I think I've sunk to a whole new level of stupidity. But what can I do? Cavemen just aren't very smart. Oog.

Saw this strange little shop at the newly opened TriNoma mall last Saturday....

Spooky!

And guess what they're selling? The first person to guess correctly gets a free hamburger. Why a free hamburger? No particular reason. That's just the first thing that popped into my now hungry mind. If your geographical location makes it difficult for you to claim your burger, you'd have to settle for something less yummy, like perhaps one month of free advertising on this site.

Each of you gets only three chances. No cheating! Anonymous chickens must use a valid email address to participate.

All answers must be posted by 11:59 PM on Sunday. The winner, if any, will be announced on Monday morning.

UPDATE (MON 18-JUN-2007):

The answer? They sell clothes. We didn't know that either until we asked.

So I guess there's no winner :-P Dodge's answer (shoes) came pretty close though. Hmm, who knows, maybe they do sell shoes. If I can confirm that they do, Dodge will get the burger.

Thanks to everyone who participated. Better luck next time :-P