Nicole Richie is in jail! Yay!

Oh wait, she isn't anymore. She was released from jail 82 minutes after checking in to serve her four-day sentence for driving under the influence of drugs.

You can call a four-day sentence a slap on the wrist, but 82 freaking minutes? That's a joke. The whole American justice system is a joke.

According to the article, "Her time at the Century Regional Detention Facility was spent getting booked, including taking a mugshot and submitting her fingerprints, Holley said. She didn't reach her jail cell."

What the hell? She didn't even reach her jail cell? She spent the whole 82 minutes waiting to have her fingerprints and a picture taken? Yeah, that sure sounds like some punishment. I go through pretty much the same thing every time I get my driver's license renewed. Poor girl.

If you think that was harsh, just wait till you hear about the severe punishment that awaits Lindsay Lohan. After going on a high-speed car chase while drunk and high on cocaine, she got sentenced to a grand total of... one day in jail. Slap that wrist! Yay! Gently gently yay.

Let's see.... If Nicole Richie's four-day sentence was over in 82 minutes, then Lindsay Lohan's one-day sentence should only take around 20 minutes. Yay! I wonder if they'll even have enough time to get all her fingerprints.

Somewhere, Paris Hilton is crying and screaming, "Mommy! Unfair!"