As the mall's closing time approached, most of its shops were already closed and properly padlocked. This one particular store went with a slightly more exotic security system though.

Sale? 70% off? Meh. One push and it will be 100% off.

Brilliant. Who needs locks when a dirty plastic stool can do the trick? Yay security!

According to a friend's friend, all you have to do is print and present this coupon and you get a regular-sized tea latte free! And he insist that this is not a joke.

Now, while I'm not one to shy away from freebies, I think this one sounds suspicious. It looks like some Catch Me If You Can wannabe's work. Of course, sillier things have turned out to be true, so I've decided to put up a dare to any enterprising spirits out there.

The terms are simple. All you have to do is print the coupon out and present it at any Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf branch.

Possible outcome #1: You actually get a free tea latte. Congratulations! You get a free tea latte. That's your prize.

Possible outcome #2: It's a hoax, and you end up making an ass of yourself. Congratulations! You get a free tea latte. I'll actually buy you one. How to claim your prize? Just email a photo of your attempt to philos@chickenmafia.com on or before July 31, 2008. Include the barista in the picture and also tell us the branch so we can confirm that it really did happen.

UPDATE! It's true!

Location is very important for businesses, especially ones that rely heavily on reputation.

Oh look, it's the Jollibee Law Office!

If you're a law firm, having your office right beside a cheap fast-food restaurant doesn't exactly scream prestige. It's more like the opposite of that actually.

But I guess it can be quite convenient for us consumers. Found a dead mouse in your burger? No problem! Just run to the law office next door and file a lawsuit!

Also, it's not often that you have law school graduates and law school dropouts working side by side, albeit separated by a wall.

Chinese restavrants have the strangest condiments.

Now that the term of George "Dubya" Bush is nearing its end, we need to find a fitting memorial to remember his wonderful achievements. If Washington has his Washington Monument and Lincoln his Lincoln Memorial, Dubya should have one too! Why? He's the most celebrated president in the history of America! He has close to 23000 videos on YouTube, and he even has a website that chronicles his every word.

It is with this in mind that a group calling themselves the Presidential Memorial Commission of San Francisco started an initiative to honor the man. They racked their brains and exerted every effort to find the suitable memorial for him. And when they found it, they made their move--a move to get voters to rename their prize-winning Oceanside Wastewater Treatment Facility to "The George W. Bush Sewage Plant."

What a fitting tribute for a man whose verbal diarrhea was so pervasive that it somehow became his personal trademark!

Way to go, Dubya! You shall be remembered every time we poop.

Not all of you know that my dad had a stroke a little over five years ago. He's unable to raise his left arm higher than his shoulders, his left hand is virtually immobile, and he can only use his left leg to march, which means he walks in an awkward way all the time.

Now he recently acquired a car with power windows that will go all the way up or down with a mere flick of the switch. He wanted that feature since he can only use one hand. He figured that there's no sense wasting time waiting for the windows to go all the way up.

Last night, he went out with some friends. After dinner, he got in the car while his friends were still dicking around near the restaurant entrance. He grew impatient and did the following (in this order):

1. Flicked the switch to close the window.
2. Decided he wanted to hurry up his friends.
3. Put his right hand out the window (His left hand is immobile, remember?) to wave his friends to the car.

It was too late when he realized the stupidity of those actions. The window was almost all the way up, and he was not fast enough to get his hand out of the way. Needless to say, his hand got stuck.

You can just imagine the trouble he was in at this point--his one good hand stuck in the window, his seat belt on, and him sitting in an awkward way. He was trapped in his own car. He flapped his hand to call attention to no avail. He attempted to take a bite at the door lock hoping to get it to open, but he couldn't reach it because of the seat belt.

Then, in a moment of desperation and a rare display of flexibility, he got his right knee high enough to slam the car horn and honk it like crazy. His friends heard him and managed to push the window down and extricate him from his predicament. It's a good thing he wasn't alone in a secluded part when this happened or he'd win a prize from Guinness for the silliest way to die.

Don't worry, he's safe. No injuries to his hand or mouth--just a bruised ego.

UPDATE: I got my dad to do a reenactment this morning.

Found this while going through some old pictures from Japan.

"Football"? Um, I think the proper term is "socerr."

Let's all play teniss and socerr! Yay!

Did you guys see the 2008 Miss Universe pageant? No? Me neither. But here's a highlight for you: Miss USA Crystle Stewart rocking the evening gown competition.

Hahaha!

If you get the feeling that you have seen this before, it could be because you actually have... sort of. At last year's pageant, Miss USA 2007 Rachel Smith also slipped and fell during the same segment. Deja vu!

Anyway, here's to hoping that Miss USA 2009 makes it a hat trick.

Cats may look intelligent--ancient Egyptians who worshipped them as gods probably thought so--but looks can be deceiving. In my experience, cats are really stupid stupid creatures, especially when it comes to avoiding cars. Most of the roadkill I've seen on the roads of Metro Manila are cats.

Dogs get hit by cars too sometimes, but at least they try their best to scamper across streets quickly. Cats don't. They prefer leisurely strolls. Occasionally, they'd even stop and take a nap right in the middle of the road... like this one did on a lazy afternoon last week.

I almost ran over the little thing. I had to slam on my brakes and bring the car to a stop a few feet away from its sleepy head. The screech startled it and woke it up from its nap, but it just stared at me and showed absolutely no intention to leave.

I couldn't go around it because some genius decided to park his truck on one side of the already narrow street. So I flashed my headlights and honked the horn a few times. Of course that didn't work.

Desperate and more than a bit annoyed, I got out of the car, charged towards the cat, and barked. Yes, barked. "Arf! Arf!" Good thing there wasn't anyone around to see me acting like a complete retard.

The little monster finally got up and walked away very slowly, pausing every few steps to stare at me with utter contempt. I stared back. Ah, there's nothing like a little afternoon confrontation to remind me how much I hate cats.

I still love lolcats though.

So I obediently stayed within the yellow box, and... nothing happened.

Well, the people behind me got very annoyed, but aside from that, nothing happened.

Maybe I should learn to think outside the box.