Chickens watching Survivor: Fijian Idol

Crafty old man Yao Ming knew exactly where the hidden immunity idol was, and he wasted no time digging it up when his ally Earl managed to lure the rest of the tribe away with some candy.

Arrr! Treasurrre!

This season's hidden idol is a dead turtle! Yao Ming was overjoyed. He caressed, kissed, and generally molested the turtle. What a creepy old man.

WARNING: possible spoilers ahead.

The tribe of losers finally won a reward challenge, and they were sent to a bowling alley. Huh? A bowling alley in the remote jungles of Fiji? Yeah, right. I bet they actually shoot Survivor in a Los Angeles studio. Anyway, there were hotdogs and beer available, and our hungry survivors of course went on a feeding frenzy. Suddenly eating a lot after not eating anything for days? That never ends well. Dumbasses.

What goes down must come up.

Back at the resort, Yao Ming wasn't satisfied with just having the immunity idol. So he made a fake idol out of a coconut shell and buried it at the spot where he found the real thing. Hahaha! What a sneaky old man. It would be the best Survivor moment ever if someone proudly pulls out the fake immunity idol at a tribal council only to have Jeff Probst laugh in his face.

This episode's immunity challenge had blindfolded people running around with deadly sharp objects, with only voice commands from a tribemate to guide them. I absolutely loved the setup--it sounded like a serious injury waiting to happen. Well, something funny did happen, just not exactly what I expected.

Ha! I knew she'd fall for me sooner or later.

Hahaha! Despite Michelle's adorable clumsiness, her tribe somehow won the challenge. Rocky was soon voted off for being an asshole. He now becomes the first member of the jury, which means that he'll get a chance to throw a tantrum at the finale. Ooh, that should be fun. I can't wait.

Visit http://chickenmafia.com/survivor every week to watch Survivor with the chickens.