I declare marshmallow!

Yesterday was the 35th anniversary of the proclamation of martial law by Ferdinand Marcos. That act turned the Philippines from a democracy into a dictatorship overnight, eight years before I was born.

I think I first heard family members muttering about Marcos sometime in the mid-80s. They said "martial law," but I thought I heard "marshmallow." Of course, I was unimpressed. Huh? So this Marcos guy likes marshmallows? Big whooping deal.

And since I was never a big fan of marshmallows, I quickly decided that Marcos was lame. Why don't I like marshmallows? Well, I find them unsatisfying. Sure, they don't taste bad, but they don't taste good either. They taste like... air. Boring.

The only time I ever got excited about marshmallows is when I learned about the famous marshmallow test from a milk commercial on TV. From Wikipedia:

In the 1960s a group of four-year olds were tested by being given a marshmallow and promised another, only if they could wait 20 minutes before eating the first one. Some children could wait and others could not. The researchers then followed the progress of each child into adolescence, and demonstrated that those with the ability to wait were better adjusted and more dependable (determined via surveys of their parents and teachers), and scored an average of 210 points higher on the Scholastic Aptitude Test.

If I were one of those kids, I would have totally failed that test, because there's no freaking way that the promise of an extra marshmallow would be enough to make me sit patiently for 20 minutes.

But what if you're a dumb kid who loves marshmallows and lacks impulse control? Here's a good strategy that you can use when you take the test:

1. Eat your marshmallow right away.
2. Take another kid's marshmallow.
3. Eat it before the researchers have the chance to intervene.

That way, you get two marshmallows without having to wait 20 minutes. Yay!