Interview with a chicken
I'm participating in this interview meme because I wanted to force myself to write something--anything--even though I don't feel like writing. It's like when you don't feel like pooping because you're totally constipated, but you grit your teeth and force it out anyway because you need to clear space for the next meal....
So I asked Paolo Mendoza a.k.a. the Philosophical Bastard to interview me, and he gave me some tough questions.
1. Which post/s do you think had you banned in Dubai?
Hmm, I'm not sure. Could be this one. Or this one. Or any of the dozens of other posts that Muslims might find offensive. Muslims are so easily offended.
But I don't believe that chickenmafia.com is really banned in Dubai. Maybe your friend simply got caught behind a company firewall. Dubaians can't set up firewalls properly because they spend too much time watching camel porn.
That's right, I said camel porn. If we weren't banned before, we probably are now. Heh.
2. How are chickens similar to humans? And what are you holding that knife and fork for?
Easy. Both chickens and humans poop. If you think about it, poop really is the universal language.
The knife and fork are for eating. Eating is very important because you can't have poop without food.
3. Leonardo da Vinci is gay. Prove it.
Here's your proof.
You think a straight man would draw something like that?
4. Invent five words that best describe you. Explain.
PollotheistTM - I believe that God exists and that he is a big chicken.
MultiflunkerTM - I like multitasking, but when I try to do many things at once, I usually fail to do any of them right.
WikilectualTM - I'm knowledgeable in a wide range of subjects, but, like Wikipedia, my knowledge has neither depth nor accuracy.
SnoozomniacTM - I stay awake all night, and I spend my mornings hitting the snooze button repeatedly until lunchtime.
MeatarianTM - I'm the opposite of vegetarian.
5. Which Spice Girls song best describes you? Why?
Noooooo! Not the Spice Girls! I hate them! I guess my hatred is irrational, because I really don't know much about them. But I don't care. I hate them anyway.
And since I don't know much about them, I'll just pass the question to my readers--all three of you. Tell me, which Spice Girls song best describes me? Think and comment.
For bloggers who want to spread this meme, here are the rules:
1. Leave me a comment saying “Interview me.â€
2. I will respond by giving you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.
I like the part about Da
I like the part about Da Vinci. Hahaha. I'd love to be interviewed... but... sige na nga. Interview me! ( I was gonna ask paolomendoza to interview me but then when i checked back his blog, may ibang post na agad )...
Btw, nag b-blog hop lang pala ako tapos nakita kita.
Interview with a Nina
1. What's the stupidest thing you've ever done while under the influence of drugs and/or alcohol?
2. The space alien who abducted you wants you to explain why you have 5 fingers on each hand (he has only 3). What do you say?
3. You're on a plane. The old man beside you won't stop farting. What do you do?
4. How would you spend your time if you have to share a jail cell with Paris Hilton for a week?
5. Why is Barney purple?
And what about me? :-/
Too lazy to interview, huh?
Tyranids may look unpleasant, but believe me, you don't want to let them out of your sight | http://carnifex.blog.com
Patience!
It takes time to come up with good meaningless questions :-P
Like it takes time to poop?
Senseless, too.
Yes!
Poop is such a versatile metaphor.
Blah blah blah yada yada yada
Interview me :-)
Tyranids may look unpleasant, but believe me, you don't want to let them out of your sight | http://carnifex.blog.com
Interview with a Carnifex
1. Why do you like reality the way it is?
2. If you're gay, would you rather take it in the mouth or in the ass? Discuss the pros and cons of each.
3. If you have to wipe one country off the face of the earth, what country would you pick and why?
4. What would you have to eat for dinner if you want radioactive green poop the next day?
5. What is the sound of one hand clapping?
Done :-P
Tsk tsk tsk, not as tough as I expected :-)
Tyranids may look unpleasant, but believe me, you don't want to let them out of your sight | http://carnifex.blog.com
Of course
My questions are designed to be answerable without deep thought. I like it that way.
interview me!
for the sake of knowing what you have for me under that chicken head.
Interview with a Paolo Mendoza
1. If all the letters in your full name become illegal, what would your new legal name be?
2. If you can kill one famous person without being caught, who would your victim be? How would you do carry out the murder?
3. How can you achieve world domination? Describe a 12-step plan that can be completed in 90 days.
4. If you're forced to pick one, which would you rather stick up your nose, ten big pieces of wasabi or a small piece of poop?
5. Who is your least favorite Spice Girl? Why? And who would you replace her with?
...
why do i have this inkling that you lied about your spice girls answer
Hahaha
Well, even if I did, you can't prove it :-P
What's not to like?
So tell me what you want what you really really want :P
Oh no! You too?
I should have guessed that you're one of them :-P
Well what can I say
I'm the embodiment of all the things you dislike :-P
Oh come on dude!
Meatarian? Seriously? Can't you come up with something better than that?
Why not PETArianTM? You eat vegetarians (preferably lady PETA activists who do nude protests) and pets hehe... =Þ
Yeah,
"PETArian" sounds soooooooo much better than "meatarian".... You're soooooo amazingly creative.
As a matter of fact
It does sound so much better. Mighty gracious of you JC. Meatarian really sounded lame.
Oh great
Split personality disorder... now that's lame.
Yay
interview me!
Interview with a Fire Eye'd Boy
1. Where do your gonads want to go today and why do they want to go there?
2. Your town is being invaded by an army of murderous gay robots who only understand monosyllabic words. What would you say to their leader?
3. What's the easiest way to pick locks in Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion?
4. You're trying to create the ultimate Frankenstein's monster. Tell us which body parts you would take from the following people: Michael Jordan, Adolf Hitler, Paris Hilton, Oprah Winfrey, and Jesus Christ.
5. What kind of cheese is the moon made of and why did the cow jump over it?
My questions
CM was banned in Dubai??
Who are your 3 readers?
Hah I'd like to say interview me but from what I see your questions got more and more pointless by the minute so I'll skip. But I do wanna know what you might ask though. Hmm...
Go to my place,
so I can interview you :-)
Tyranids may look unpleasant, but believe me, you don't want to let them out of your sight | http://carnifex.blog.com
Is that supposed to be
A pickup line? =Þ
Hmmm...
Good idea, I could try out the scientific experiment on her, so she'd tell me the pros and cons JC requested and I wouldn't have to fuck with a dude.
Tyranids may look unpleasant, but believe me, you don't want to let them out of your sight | http://carnifex.blog.com
Let me just make it clear that
I will not be responsible for anything that goes wrong with your experiment. I don't want to be involved in the inevitable lawsuit.
What scientific experiment?
Scientific? So deep.
It's less scientific than you think
See Carnifex's blog for details.
Sige nga
Interview me.
By the way, I don't think that's really the Philosophical Bastard asking you. I'm thinking you asked yourself those! :P
Yeah, like I'd ask myself a Spice Girls question :-P
Here are your questions:
1. If you are a vegetable, what kind of vegetable would you be? Why?
2. Now that you know siopao is made of cat meat, would you still enjoy eating it?
3. You forgot to spay your pet cat, and she gave birth to a litter of three male and three female kittens. Name them.
4. Hello Kitty and Doraemon are in a fight to the death. Who wins? Describe the battle.
5. You get to invite any four cartoon characters to your dinner party. What they don't know is that one of them will end up as the main course. So who are your four dinner guests, and which one of them is the dinner?
That's all you're going to ask
*yawns*
That bad huh :-(
Well, I couldn't spend too much time thinking because I had to get back to Oblivion :-P
You
need serious help. you're hooked. hahah
No I'm not!
I have it all under control! I can stop anytime I want!
Spoken like a true addict, heh.
I want a quiz too!
can i get a quiz too? the questions are really intriguing...
I tried,
but I can't think up any questions. Actually, I can't think at all. Must be the blood loss. Hmm.
Here's what we can do. Paolo probably won't answer the questions I gave him because he already did the interview thing earlier. So if those questions are still unclaimed by tomorrow, you can take them. We can't let silly questions go to waste, right? Recycle! Yay, I'm an environmentalist now!
And if that doesn't work
You can take one of my questions in my sanriotown blog if the people there don't answer it :P
Yes, do that if you want
all your questions to be about Hello Kitty, hehe.
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