Shut up, Jessica Simpson

It has been a long time since a CNN headline made me so happy.

I couldn't sleep last night, so I surfed around the Net aimlessly. Like I always do, I eventually came back to CNN.com, my favorite comedy website. There, between the hurricane news and the JonBenet John Mark Karr crap, I saw this little gem: Jessica Simpson ordered to rest voice.

Isn't that a wonderful headline? It made my day (or rather, since it was late at night, whatever was left of my day). I don't know who ordered Jessica Simpson to shut up, but whoever you are, thank you. Now, if you can order Tom Cruise and George W. Bush to do the same, I'll be really really happy.

I didn't read the whole article, but I did see a statement from her publicist whom I will now quote (out of context). He said, "She can talk, she can croak out a few sentences. She sounds a little off, but, you know, she can't sing."

Tell us something we don't know, Mr. Genius Publicist. Yeah, Jessica Simpson can't sing. It took you eight freaking years to figure that out? Heh.