The smart peeple at Stanford recently hopped on the water conservation bandwagon and installed dual flushing toilets, which come with needlessly complicated diagrams explaining how to use them.

Hmm, okay. But this brings up an interesting dilemma: what about diarrhea? Do you pull up because it's mostly liquid? Or do you push down because there might be some nice small solid chunks in there?

I think the terms "liquid waste" and "solid waste" are confusing in this case--diarrhea is a magical substance known to have the properties of both solid and liquid waste. Why not go with simpler and more precise terms, like "pee" and "poo"? "Pull up for pee; push down for poo." Sounds good to me.

As a bonus, my version is shorter, which means less ink wasted when printing the signs. And what is ink made of? That's right, water! So, by conserving ink, they would also conserve water, which is the main goal of the dual flushing toilets in the first place!

See? I'm an environmentalist. Yay!