A few months ago, I found out that I have a strange inability to spell words properly when I'm dreaming. Last night, I discovered one more thing that I can't do properly.

I dreamt that I was about to play basketball, and I was doing some warm-up exercises. I started to stretch one leg, but I somehow couldn't keep my balance. I fell flat on my face. There was blood everywhere, and soon, rats came out and started licking my blood... but that's not important. The important thing here is that I can't do simple stretching exercises in my dreams.

People like to associate the word "dreams" with visions of great achievement and success. People are idiots. It's either that, or I'm destined to be a loser, because in my dreams, I'm an incompetent moron who can't do stretching without falling over.

Look, I may be an incompetent moron when I'm awake, but I can do stretching without falling over, damn it! At least I think I can. I don't know for sure because I never stretch before playing basketball. I think stretching is a waste of time. I just want to play! People have warned me about getting seriously injured, but I don't listen.

I guess I'm really a moron--a lazy hardheaded incompetent moron.