There are many ways to skin a cat? Someone please teach me one

Sorry if this blog entry sounds incoherent and angry. It sounds incoherent because I'm really sleepy, and it sounds angry because I'm fucking angry.

Just a minute or two ago, I was lying on my bed and drifting off to sleep after a long day. Then I heard a cat. And another. And another. Fuck! And they're fucking loud. I don't know the word for the kind of sound they're making, but it's more or less like this... repeated dozens of times.

Now I know why Hello Kitty doesn't have a mouth... its creator was wishing that all cats would just shut up.

Fuck. Those cats outside my window are still going at it. I don't know if it's a catfight or a cat orgy, but for heaven's sake, it's 4:30 AM! Cats are so inconsiderate. I wanted to take a gun outside and start shooting at them. Then I remembered that I don't own a gun. Damn it! Maybe I should unleash a turtle army on them.

My neighborhood has a serious feral cat problem. Sometimes, when I get home after a late night, I'd find a cat blocking the driveway, refusing to move and just giving me the "What the fuck are you looking at?" stare. I usually flash my headlights and curse until they slowly walk away, but I swear to god I'm gonna lose it one of these days and just run one of them over... even if that means I'll have to spend all day scraping bloody cat carcass off my front bumper.

Oh fuck! I hear a dog barking now. Why do dogs have to bark at cats? Why can't they just go write an incoherent rant on their blogs? Stupid dogs. And the cats are still not stopping. Fucking pests.

I remember back when I was a kid, night-shift workers at our warehouse used to trap feral cats in big sacks and beat them to death with sticks. Good times....

Oh good. The cats and dogs have finally stopped. I can go back to sleep now. I'll wait until tomorrow to think about ways to kill all of them.