Israel's invasion of Gaza in recent weeks has sparked outrage all over the world. This guy attending a pro-Palestinian rally in New York might have gone a little over the top with the outrage though.

Wow, really? Death to all juice? Harsh. But can we at least spare fruit-flavored soda? Please?

Now, some of you probably think that this guy is way out of line. Calling for genocide against a whole class of beverage? That's horrible! He's like the Hitler of fruits!

But if you look very closely at the sign and squint, you'd see the word "Zionist" in parentheses scribbled lightly above "juice." See? He's not such a bad guy after all. He only wants to kill Zionist juice. Everyone knows that Zionist juice is the bad kind of juice, and murdering Zionist juice is perfectly okay.

Since he threw his shoes at George W. Bush earlier in the week, Iraqi journalist Muntadhar al-Zaidi has become a folk hero of sorts in the Arab world. Check out these Palestinian journalists holding a protest rally in his honor.

"You devervet it"? This deverves a fatwa from the spelling Taliban.

The incarcerated Mr. al-Zaidi isn't living up to his hero billing though. While people are rallying to support him, he's already chickening out after a few days--he's now crying and begging for leniency.

Is it true remorse or did he drop his soap one too many times in jail and just couldn't take the pain anymore? Who knows. But you'd think that someone with the balls to throw shoes at the most powerful man in the world would have the testicular fortitude to not apologize. Sounds like someone failed Martyrdom 101. What happened to the unwavering willingness to die for the cause? Tsk... kids nowadays....

No word yet whether the Egyptian man who offered his daughter to al-Zaidi in marriage has withdrawn the proposal.

Good journalists are supposed to stay fair and balanced, but this Iraqi reporter at the press conference during George W. Bush's surprise visit to Baghdad clearly showed his liberal bias.

Shoo, filthy American dogs! Shoo!

President Bush may not be the smartest guy on the planet, but man, he sure has amazingly quick reflexes. If that were me standing at the podium, I would have caught the shoe... with my face. Bush dodged it as deftly as he does with foreign policy questions. I'm impressed. People may call Bush a lame duck, but come on, that was an awesome duck right there.

I don't know what the angry shoe-throwing journalist was ranting about, but I'm pretty sure that he was shouting "Don't tase me bro!" in Iraqi as he was tackled by the always efficient Secret Service agents.

Saw this on Real Time With Bill Maher last week.

I don't know what to say about it, so let's have a caption contest. Yay! Post your captions below.

Now that the term of George "Dubya" Bush is nearing its end, we need to find a fitting memorial to remember his wonderful achievements. If Washington has his Washington Monument and Lincoln his Lincoln Memorial, Dubya should have one too! Why? He's the most celebrated president in the history of America! He has close to 23000 videos on YouTube, and he even has a website that chronicles his every word.

It is with this in mind that a group calling themselves the Presidential Memorial Commission of San Francisco started an initiative to honor the man. They racked their brains and exerted every effort to find the suitable memorial for him. And when they found it, they made their move--a move to get voters to rename their prize-winning Oceanside Wastewater Treatment Facility to "The George W. Bush Sewage Plant."

What a fitting tribute for a man whose verbal diarrhea was so pervasive that it somehow became his personal trademark!

Way to go, Dubya! You shall be remembered every time we poop.

I've been keeping this news clip for about a year now, biding my time until the opportune moment.

Pretty confident huh, Mr. Bayani Fernando? But then Frank happened.

This is a photo taken a few blocks from my home. Permit me to thank the wonderful people from our local water companies for keeping us safe with that line of yellow do-not-cross tape. Now if only you closed that hole up last April when you were done with it.

So now, you're thinking, "A politician promised something he couldn't deliver? Big deal!" Well apparently, he promised the same thing two years ago. I'm not sure what that does to his presidential aspirations. And to think he has started campaigning already. (By the way, why isn't he getting the flak the other senators are getting? At least they don't use public funds to punish us with their faces. Anyone?)

Translation: "The use of the road-rail station is free (no fee)." Okay, why do you feel the need to define the simple word "libre"? Do you think we're all morons? And while you're at it, why don't you define "road-rail station" instead? Thanks.

Anyway, for now, I'll just practice my island-hopping skills in anticipation of the next flood.

Anyone who has watched Al Gore's An Inconvenient Truth knows for a fact that global warming is threatening to destroy our planet. But do you know that the Canadian government is secretly trying to ENCOURAGE MORE GLOBAL WARMING?

Canada is a huge country (second largest in the world in terms of land area) with a robust economy and great social programs. It would be an utopia if not for one big problem: it's FREAKING COLD. Most of Canada is covered in deep snow all year round, which explains their national average temperature of -20°C. So it's clear that while global warming would be disastrous for the rest of us, it would actually be ADVANTAGEOUS TO CANADIANS!!!

(Imagine how nice Vancouver would be if it has Florida weather. And there would be no more Florida--it would be underwater thanks to rising sea levels caused by global warming! Al Gore said so.)

Investigations by the Global Climate Research Institute (GCRI) have revealed that the Canadian government is secretly and wastefully burning 22.5 MILLION BARRELS of oil PER DAY (that's more than what China AND India consume in a day) in an attempt to accelerate global warming. And they're succeeding! Latest scientific studies show that, at the rate it's going, most coastal areas will be underwater by the year 2020!

Is there anything we can do to stop the Canadian global warming conspiracy? Of course! Sign the online petition against Canadian global warming at http://www.petitionspot.com/petitions/stopcanada and forward this message to all your friends and family members. Doing so will only take a few minutes of your time, but ignoring this can mean a lifetime of underwater suffering for future generations. So let's all spread the word and do our best to save the planet. ACT NOW!!!

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If you're now convinced that big evil Canada must be stopped from destroying our planet, here's what I want you to do: slap yourself in the face, check the date of this post, and slap yourself in the face again. It's April Fools', you fool! And no matter what day it is, you shouldn't believe everything you read on the Internet.

Now here's what I really want you to do: help me spread the hoax. Yay! Fun! Here's how to do it:

1. Download the attached text file.
2. Open it and copy the text to your favorite email program.
3. Put "Fwd: Stop Global Warming!" in the subject line.
4. Send it to your friends, especially the annoying ones who keep forwarding you useless medical tips and urban legends.
5. Laugh like an evil maniac. (Optional)

If some of your recipients express doubt and ask questions, don't lie. Just admit that it's a hoax and send them to this page. There are probably enough people who would forward it without thinking anyway.

So go do it. Go! ACT NOW!!!

P.S. Don't forget to sign the petition. ACT NOW!!!

Quick, identify the man in this picture:

If you said "Ron Paul," you've just earned 50,000 bonus points. Yay! Well, not really yay. The points are pointless. But at least you get bragging rights... not that anyone cares.

So who is Ron Paul? He's a 2008 U.S. presidential candidate who has virtually no chance of winning it all. But his candidacy is interesting for a lot of people because of his message--he's the only libertarian in this year's presidential race. 20,000 bonus points if you know what a libertarian is.

To learn more, you can go look him up on the Web. Or you can wait for my upcoming blog entry about him and libertarianism in general.

For those of you in Metro Manila, there's a third (and much more fun) option. We have a small group of Ron Paul supporters right here in a country where 99.9% of the population have never heard of the guy. We're having an informal meet-up this Thursday, January 10, 2008 6:30 PM at The Promenade, Greenhills Shopping Center. Yeah, that's tomorrow. Should have announced this earlier huh. Sorry, got lazy as usual.

Anyway, if discussing politics over coffee is your idea of fun, come join us. 100,000 bonus points if you're an American citizen or can get one to tag along. Sign up now!

Today, anti-government protesters in Myanmar vandalized shops and took officials hostage. But wait, here's the best part: the violent protesters are Buddhist monks!

Heh. Aren't Buddhists supposed to be all about calm and non-aggression? Apparently, Buddhism's lofty ideal of tranquility is just like Christianity's "love thy enemy" meme--sounds wonderful in theory but rarely works in practice.

You can hardly blame the monks though. Myanmar has been under oppressive military rule for decades, so of course the frustration of their people would boil over from time to time. Even the most peaceful Buddhist monk would fight back if you push him hard enough.

I don't know much about Myanmar. I personally know only six people from that country. I was in the same class as them when I attended a training program in Japan two years ago. They were a very nice and friendly bunch. They laughed at my corny jokes, and I pretended to like soccer. We got along real well.

I can't speak for them, but I had seen some of them looking at websites plastered with pictures of Burmese pro-democracy activist Aung San Suu Kyi, so I think I can guess which way they're leanings politically. And I feel bad that they have to live in a place where information is heavily censored and GMail is illegal. GMail is a basic human right, damn it! Myanmar's military junta sucks.

I don't know how this monk riot will turn out. Maybe the monks are getting gunned down as we speak. I sure hope not. Their activities may be somewhat un-Buddha-like, but their cause is a just one. And, despite my personal distaste for religion, I understand that it can be a powerful tool for political change. In the Philippines, the Catholic clergy helped topple the Marcos dictatorship in 1986. Perhaps the Burmese monks would be able do the same for their country.

Yay.

(Chicken News Network) China is looking to expand its booming manufacturing industry beyond toxic pet food, toxic toothpaste, and toxic toys.

In a move that many analysts say will shake up the global afterlife market, the Universe has outsourced reincarnation to China.

In a press conference, an official of the State Administration for Religious Oppression said that the outsourcing contract allows the Chinese government to "strictly stipulate the procedures by which one is to reincarnate." He calls it "an important move to institutionalize management of reincarnation." China will outsource all reincarnation technical support calls to India.

The Dalai Lama, the exiled Tibetan spiritual leader who has been reincarnated 13 times, is criticizing the Universe for the outsourcing deal. As a sign of protest, His Holiness has threatened to never reincarnate himself in China. In response, a spokesperson of the Chinese government said, "Yay!"

(Above) American babies arguing with each other over competing claims of being the next incarnation of the Dalai Lama.
 

In related news, the Chinese government is also negotiating with the Vatican in an attempt to corner the lucrative Christian afterlife market. The exclusive management rights of Heaven are currently being held by Saint Peter.